Keeping a blog may no longer be considered one of the trendiest paths to take.

Instead, creating, consuming, and fueling short videos filled with AI content across social media channels seems to be what most people choose in today’s fast-paced world.

Yet I firmly believe that there is another way – one that is deeper and more meaningful. I notice that both I and many others are becoming less and less interested in growing further into these fast-moving structures and media environments.

Quite the opposite: We would much rather grow beyond them.

At least, that is what I interpret from the language of symptoms expressed by an increasing number of bodies and souls around me that are out of balance.

At the latest, when your body seemingly resets you back to zero, the time has come to rediscover a sustainable pace of slowing down.

At the height of my pain and exhaustion, I was neither able to create nor watch video reels or elaborate Instagram posts. I could barely use my phone anymore and became grateful for every message and every phone call that did not require my attention.

Looking back, this was also one of the gifts whose trail I was led to follow.

The powerful theme ‘ What gift does your illness truly bring you? ’ and the importance of decoding this very gift were already touched upon in blog post #1.

Well, my „illness“ placed the gift of withdrawal from all the obligations and entanglements I had imposed upon myself right at my feet. Apparently, I had not yet been able to allow myself this without it. I was too busy!

Why am I now typing again on the keyboard, writing blog posts, and also actively continuing my poetry and my book?

The secret lies in this very gift of retreat and the time it has given me, as well as in a more slowed-down perspective on the time I have been given. It lies in a deeper inner realization of how precious life time is, and in the personal clarity that I am less and less willing to waste it on the superficial, fast-moving digital world.

For me, it is, in the broadest sense, about substance. About ‘ less is more ’. About the courage to slow down in an ever-accelerating world.

Slowing down in everyday life was not always my strength. My astrological double fire also drives me forward, yet it can fuel burnout at the same time. I am learning to moderate myself. To perceive slowed-down time more consciously.

In this slowed and carefully balanced time, I reflect and write things down that deeply move me and, I hope, nourish both you and me equally. It is about giving birth to this blog from within and allowing it to become part of my healing process. This gives me strength, courage, and a new kind of inner peace.

Opening a door for those among my readers and friends who wish to step out of the trending mills of this time, to make space for reading something unfiltered by AI, and to be inspired by what truly moves a fellow human being – what one experiences in an intense and difficult phase of life and what one carries from the depths of one’s being to share – gives me meaning.

This blog is becoming increasingly significant. It is evolving into something like a personal timeline, including a field of reflection for inner and outer transformation.

What is written is – usually – still far from being published.

Without the support of my son, who created the platform and the technical framework for me and who gave me his time, patience, and encouragement, I would most likely not have managed this blog in my current condition.

The support of my partner, who repeatedly encouraged me in moments of doubt and physical setbacks and helped me understand that what I write is important, has greatly helped me to keep centering and realigning myself in difficult moments.

For my still aching body, which is immobile in some places, so much that is „normal“ for other people remains a very great challenge. Patience, slowness, and many breaks are something I have been cultivating in my daily life for the past 2 years.

What makes me believe that I will become fit and stable again?

First and foremost, it is my reawakened strong will that I can feel. The deep inner decision to find my way back into an active sense of life. Even if this sometimes feels almost like a contradiction to the patience and slowness I am learning to practice in parallel. Yet learning to ride precisely this tension in a natural way is immensely important for people with chronic pain and a stressed nervous system.

From a muscular perspective, it is about regaining more flexibility and consciously perceiving one‘s own concentric-eccentric spectrum of muscles, fascia, and connective tissue, and gradually guiding it back into its natural functionality step by step.

Just as my mind dances between poetic activity and worldly, meaningful word constellations, and my soul experiences its expression between material finitude and eternity, my body is invited to reshape its resilience between regeneration and activation.

I have now been in a regenerative process for almost two months. For me, this means entering many consciously created spaces of rest and feeling. Sharpening bodily awareness, especially outside of dysregulated states. Not pushing, and not engaging in forced stretching or massage treatments in the hope that things will improve faster or that I will regain fitness more quickly. Because a body already operating at the limits of its resilience is additionally stressed by tissue stretching. Massages are often too much, and not every therapist has the sensitivity to truly meet a fragile body where it is. Therefore, after many attempts and difficult experiences that sometimes left me incapacitated for weeks or even months, I have stopped trying too many different approaches too close together.

At the moment, I am focusing on a few somatic exercises. On the essential structural rebuilding of my biomechanical foundation, which has fallen out of balance. I focus on my breath, and especially on the pauses between breaths. On healthy, natural nutrition. On nature. On clarity in my mind. On precision in my language. Its semantics and honesty.

Taken together, even this is already a lot, and it does not always work smoothly. I often feel frustrated when my back and neck start hurting again, when dizziness returns, and when I still cannot do what I had set out to do. It is often a dance on the edge: ‘ How much is too much and how much is too little? ’ This is something I must continually recalibrate.

I still perceive more of a ‘ scream body ’ than a dream body, and I know that I will only have truly crossed certain stages when I can again claim a felt sense of stability – even in challenging situations – as ‘ my own ’. But I am not quite there yet.

I am still tender and fragile, and it is not always easy to accept this.

Therefore, I must feel deeply, observe, and practice patience. Not give up, and every single day, no matter how it presents itself, call forth my will for an active, physically fit life, and continue to declare my freedom and mobility as my priority.

I believe that I will manage this, that I will become fit, active, and free of pain again.

My personal mindset and the inner dialogue in relation to my body have never been as important and essential as they are now.

To be vital and flexible is my natural state.

This is my inner mantra, the frequency I am learning to nurture every day.

Perhaps this mantra is also something that gives you strength and encourages your cells to remember that they are allowed to be free from attachment to suffering.

In any case, it helps me greatly not to despair in still difficult phases and to keep shifting my energy field back into something alive and life-embracing.

… and how my path back into active being continues in detail, and how much movement I may regain this beautiful summer, and how I concretely practice all of this in everyday life, you will read in the next blog post …