Author: Nanshee Spirit

My regeneration phase (little to no training) has been going on for a whole month now and the sacrum/lumbar spine pain has still not completely subsided. Actually, I’m mainly in the program because of my neck problems and ME/CFS diagnosis and now there is just something ‚shamelessly‘ added that wasn’t there before.

Admittedly, this is deeply frustrating at first. Pain is grueling, but maybe it’s because something old in me is simply worn down when it is so noticeable now.
Something is knocking on my inner door and I’m following…

In this article, a few words about bone torsion and the magic bone juice…

What if our bones were much more important than just being our skeleton?! And what if bones were less rigid and much more permeable than most people assume?!

‚Magic bone juice‘ was so gloriously named because it has a direct influence on our cells, on our power plants (the mitochondria and our DNA). According to the ‘Original Therapy’ legend, the more ‘magical’ bone juice is produced in our bones, the more organic and precise our movement pressure is distributed to the bones involved in the movement. A person who learns from birth to control his bones and muscles organically and species-appropriately produces good juice, which supplies the cells well and makes them strong. This keeps the nervous system supple and resistant. Of course, fresh air, healthy food, clean water and a loving environment etc. also play their important roles in this… The soul and the inner spirit anyway…

But now let’s get back to something that we have at best every day; our locomotion!

Organic locomotion rocks!

If we have not learned to move organically and in a species-appropriate way and have also collected accidents and traumas, for example, then our musculoskeletal system is exposed to improper loads and compensations (improper tensions). The magic bone juice is no longer produced in sufficient quantities and a degenerative chain reaction on cells, nerves, muscles, etc. takes its course. Broken down in the simplest way, our muscles and fascia calcify, our connective tissue slowly dries out. The cells report alarm and our nervous system (wants to protect us) and sends protective voltages and pain.

Once our nervous system is properly attacked and sensitized, our hormone balance, our digestion and so much more in us becomes imbalanced. Our pain body is permanently activated.

The path I am taking now is an attempt to bring my musculoskeletal system back into its species-appropriate functionality as much as possible.

It is first and foremost a physical path.

In the last few months, I have shown my body a few of its old compensation patterns and also shown it new ways. Well, my body is offended. The old compensations don’t work so well anymore when it tries to restore it’s old patterns. However, the new movement sequences and structural positioning are not yet consolidated.

Well, welcome to the intermediate phase, a place that I will certainly get to know more often until my new structure consolidates and knows how to move more organically.

Because even if I am always mindful with my postures and patterns during the day and knowing better and better where I can start, the night and sleep often bring the ‘old’ scheme back into play and challenges me.

Of course human!

I now envy people who have a natural physical posture and a good structure. Because I now know that I have been carrying hypermobility and protective tensions in my body structure for a very long time.
Since my childhood I guess.

We humans are inherently very complex natural beings, but nowadays we unfortunately live less and less species-appropriately. We have unnatural light around us and thus an unnatural sleep rhythm. We eat denatured food processed umpteen times. We are too much indoors and too little in nature. We stare at screens for a large part of our day and see far too much. Sensory overload at all levels has its price. While a body with a good structure can deal with it better, this is a great challenge for a body that is stuck in compensation mode and whose nervous system is already under constant strain.

I’m learning to be patient and to pick up my body right where it is right now. Don’t overwhelm it and still reach out to it and show it new ways. For me, despite the ME/CFS diagnosis, I feel very clearly that there has to be movement so that I can get back into activation, so that my system has a chance to re-calibrate itself.

And I may wonder that our bones (the last thing that is usually left of us when we pass away) are so important and so special. I wonder about myself and how little I have dealt with these things on a bio-mechanical level in my life so far.

But better now than never.

… and how I managed to get this blog up and running despite all my current frailty, why isolated massages, stretches and nerve regulation don’t really get us to our goal and where I get my confidence that I will be pain-free and naturally flexible again… more about that in the upcoming blog post …

Anyone who imagines this kind of body therapy to be a piece of cake will be sorely disappointed.

After 6 weeks in the practice space, I’ve made progress in big small steps.

The exercises are minimalistic yet very precise and modular, with a single goal in mind: to reveal my weak points and uncover compensatory patterns, so that my body can be guided toward healthier new pathways and then helped to reinforce them.

That also hurts. Both physically and emotionally.

Crawling is essential.

Did you know that crawling is immensely important for developing healthy skeletal alignment and proper muscle activation?

My aunt, who was present during my crawling age, answered the question of whether I had crawled? :

‘Oh no, with all the dirt and animals in the village, we quickly put you in those walking pants, and you started walking straight away without crawling when you weren’t even a year old…’

Of course, this also brings deep emotional wounds from my inner child – who at only a few tender months old was left with my grandparents and that young aunt – to the surface and into my feeling space.

For so many things in our lives, we are not responsible. We often had no influence over them at all. And yet so many of us go around almost feeling ashamed of our poor health. Feeling like failures because of our health challenges.

We cannot always resolve things quickly on a physical level. Also not through shamanic paths. The soul has its own sense of time and space, and this is not always congruent with the physical.

It requires patience and self-awareness. Relaxation and determination. Courage and compassion. Trust and caution.

Fascia and trigger point work repeatedly releases unexpected emotions and physical symptoms such as shaking, which I cannot always connect to experiences from the past. That is okay, I do not necessarily need to. What matters is that calcifications and tension can be released, and that the body is allowed to let go of the trauma it is still holding.

This body therapy is definitely not for people who do not want to confront themselves.

An advantage for me is that I am used to such deep processes from my shamanic path.

A new recipe of layers.

The past few weeks have been, in part, a painful peeling of layers. Layer by layer, something new came to light. My pelvis tilts in the wrong direction, and my torso stacks up in compensation, which has a strong impact on my neck. Addressing and resolving these compensations is currently putting strain on my lumbar spine and sacrum.

For the past two days, I’ve been resting flat and giving my body time to recover and integrate. This is the first longer break from training after 6 weeks.

I’m proud of myself because so far I have mostly taken good care of my body.

Only sometimes, when I feel playful, which I tend to be when I’m feeling better, I become impatient and want to put my newly gained mobility into practice right away, as if trying to make up for what I’ve missed over the past years.

Of course that doesn’t work that easily, and I fall into phases of setbacks, feeling like I’m not making good progress.

Picking moments of happiness.

Fortunately, my husband then likes to point out things like:

• You can finally lie on your back again and sleep
• You recently walked miles again
• You cooked several days in a row
• You went grocery shopping on your own again
• Your vertigo is much better
• You’ve written a few chapters in your book
• You were able to create a few Instagram posts again

Okay. He’s absolutely right. I tend to forget how bad things were before as soon as I start feeling a bit better again.

I take that as something positive. I’m looking at the future with more optimism again & that is a great gift!

I’m currently learning a lot of new things on a physical level, and I’m looking forward to also writing in the future about interesting topics such as the effects of bone torsion on the nervous system or calcification of the plantar fascia.

… and how things continue from here, and how long my lumbar spine will need for this recovery, you’ll find out in the next blog post …

The tears from my last two years could fill thousands of gallons. Everyone who knew me no longer recognized me – and I myself was slowly becoming just as unfamiliar to me.

In the moments of my deepest despair, I no longer wanted to life. I didn’t recognize this feeling, it was new and unsettling, even frightening.

My own shamanic journeys and shamanic medicines were present and active from the very beginning of my healing path, helping me not to completely lose my anchor in life. I took part in several intense ancestral healing ceremonies with a shaman friend, but over time, engaging in energetically intense shamanic work became increasingly difficult as my physical condition grew weaker.

At times, I even had the feeling that some kind of energy was trying to prevent me from connecting with my field of power and protection.

I dreamed a lot – especially about my parents.

My family and my closest friends were as confused as I was.

A lot of help that doesn’t actually help.

Hospital stays, countless visits to doctors, MRI scans of the cervical spine (neck) led to diagnoses that brought little relief. Cranio-cervical instability, cervical spine syndrome, cervical spondylosis … & eventually post-COVID and ME/CFS …

In addition, I tried various personal therapies, including alternative medicine, osteopathy, TCM acupuncture, kinesiology, and craniosacral therapy. A friend took me to her psychological counselor. Many euros were spent, and I felt like I hadn’t moved forward at all.

I lost 3.000 € investing in a three-month promising online coaching and training program, which I had to stop after four weeks because by now I felt even worse than before.

By then, all my attempts at healing truly felt like dead ends.

My last savings slipped away, and as a self-employed medicine woman, I did as well.

By then, I was at a loss and felt hopeless. It seemed like all I could do was surrender and be patient.

The horizon is getting brighter.

At the beginning of November 2025, after two years, an unexpected glimmer of hope appeared on my darkened horizon.

Almost casually I came across a video of a young man who amazed me and who spoke about the golden triangle, biomechanical primal body realignment, gut cleansing with primal nutrition, and nervous system reset in a previously unprecedented, logically connected way. Genetics, trauma, and mental hygiene – all included in his perspective, which he conveyed with striking clarity.

I kept hearing “primal” … primal nature, primal body, primal origin.

All those “primal” references awakened the medicine woman in me again!

Something inside me was ringing, and then a glimmer of hope clicked into place, somewhere between heart and soul. A deeply beautiful feeling that I had been missing for a long time.

I enrolled in his free 21-day body therapy trial.

After 10 days of bodywork using his method, I felt significantly better.

For the first time in a long while, I caught a glimpse again of what it might feel like for a healthy body to move and feel.

My soul whispered: Yes, yes !!! I want to live in such a healthy, aligned body again !!!

His method requires time, he says, because everything that has fallen out of balance in the body over decades needs to be realigned from the ground up. Trauma must be released from the fascia. My body had taken on compensations that were costing it strength. A build-up of injuries: from a torn Achilles tendon and a shifted hip to whiplash, were all factors + emotional stress + genetic programming + experienced trauma + illnesses I had gone through … it sounds extremely logical!

That after caring for and losing my parents, my physical “earth ship” – marked by a wide range of experiences – was clearly exhausted, and that after a COVID infection my sails were finally torn, doesn’t really surprise me in hindsight.

The aforementioned BodyReset in the one-year therapy program came at a price. A price that wasn’t in my bank account.

I realized that I was truly ready to commit to this kind of bodywork in the long term. I really wanted to give my body this chance.

The YES was there. Only the HOW was still missing!

Dreams are essential.

I dreamed again of running through meadows, dancing as I go, and spending hours collecting shells with my head in the pebbles. I dream of finishing my book, starting new workshops, working with people again, and continuing my shamanic work. Of sitting around a campfire, laughing with my family and friends. Of traveling.

I don’t remember exactly how it came into my mind, but the crazy idea of starting a GoFundMe campaign was born.

Everything had to happen very quickly, because the program was already set to start at the beginning of January 2026!

I didn’t have much time to think it through. I was brave nonetheless, because it wasn’t easy for me to share the details of my current situation with my acquaintances and followers and to ask for support.

(In fact, publishing this blog directly on my website isn’t very easy for me either. But that, too, is part of my journey right now.)

Friends and family helped me set up my ‘Back to Life’ campaign, and the miracle happened!

Within two weeks, I had raised the money!

And that was exactly the most sensible crazy idea I had since my health crash.

So many wonderful people took part in the campaign and made this path possible for me!

Gratitude is far too small a word for what I feel for my courage and for the people who made this miracle possible.

… I’ll write about my start and the first phase of my one-year BodyReset in my next blog post …

I certainly do not want to nestle into an ‘illness’. No matter how long it has been brewing. No matter what name it has been given. But since it is already here, I want to honor it by getting to know it up close and recognizing what it brings me. It is not evil, and perhaps not even arbitrary. It must have brought me something I needed. Even if I believe I did not order it.

As the ancient shamans so beautifully said: What gift does your illness truly bring you?

Gifts are meant to be unwrapped.

This is not easy, because this gift frightens me. It is clingy and active 24 hours a day, trying to render me inactive. Hiding it or trying to get rid of it, only to stumble over it again, does not work.
Ignoring it and sneaking a quick glance once in a while might be somewhat restful, yet it is far too loud to overlook.

It must have deeper and wider roots, even if it seemed to begin only on March 18, 2024, with a painful flash in the back of my head.

This ‘beast’ of a gift has since perched itself on my back at times more, at times less—nestled in my bones, my stomach, my heart, and my nervous system. It brings me to my knees, sparks waves of pain, causes circulatory mishaps and stomach problems. It keeps me from sleeping, working, laughing.

All healing hands that touch my body are puzzled. My body behaves stubbornly, frozen, reacting to even the slightest touch as if armies of trampling wild animals had taken hold.
Everything, even eating and going to the bathroom, is exhausting.

The lack of sleep, the exhaustion, the irregular heartbeat, the nausea, the pain, the dizziness with every movement weakened me day by day. The pounds fall off, hope diminished. And my bed felt like a prison ship below deck on a stormy sea, with shifting winds and no sunlight.

Between hope and grief, courage and despair, this ship has now drifted on the open sea for almost two years.

The beginning that was an ending.

My mother passed away at the end of 2023, and three weeks later my father. They held each other’s hands. And I was finally left here empty-handed, my little girl’s heart bleeding. Old, gaping wounds of the child abandoned at a few months of age now take their time and space to reveal themselves in all their force.

Covid then visited my abandoned, wounded, defenseless child, further draining what little injured strength I had left.

Ancient ancestral pathways shattered in my cells, telling of suffering, despair, and powerlessness. Of women who sacrificed themselves, who forgot themselves. And I was right in the middle.

My own story, anger, and grief exploded in my muscles. Fireworks of nerves kept me awake even in my dreams.

My body has indeed experienced and carried a lot. Accidents, trauma, separation, birth. Also the stories of others from journeys to medicine for the many people along my path.
But my soul is free, even now, while the body it inhabits seems to crumble. The crumbling itself is painful.

It is a maturation process.

Insights emerge again and again, sometimes very slowly. Acceptance is an important part of it.

Accepting myself like this. The strong medicine woman may also be weak. She may embody her vulnerable depth. She may rediscover and explore her body.

She may show her female dignity unadorned to the world

On this path lie wonderful encounters, support, prayers. The people around me are very strong.
I know I am too. Even now, when I can barely feel it.

Together with my wounded body, whose cells yearn for their original light, I move forward courageously.

… how it continued and continues, you can read in the next blog post …